She Didn’t Want To Be Second Choice: Teenager Didn’t Want Mom To Remarry
A woman shares the struggles that her niece is going through as a result of her mom remarrying.
The Backstory
Sera was only 7 when her world was shattered by the sudden death of her beloved father. Since then, the now 16-year-old girl has faced another major challenge: adjusting to a blended family that she never wanted and that has strained her relationship with her mother and stepsister.
Sera’s Mom Remarries
Sera’s aunt, who we’ll call Julie shared the story of how her sister Viv remarried a man named Michael, who had a daughter named Mia, and how Sera reacted to the news. Julie described how Sera felt when she was told that Michael would become her stepfather and Mia her stepsister:
Sera Didn’t Want Her Mom To Remarry
“She told Viv she wanted her to herself and didn’t want to be second choice to her. Viv, instead of showing concern that Sera would feel that way, or even ask some questions about where that was coming from, called her selfish and told her she was a child who had no idea how the world worked and would not get to be selfish by denying another kid a mom.”
Sera Continue to Feel Resentment
Julie also revealed how Sera’s feelings of resentment and rejection have persisted over the years, despite her efforts to cope with them:
“Sera is 16 now and she’s in high school. Mia is 15 and also in high school. The girls are not close. I think both still see themselves as only children and they’re not claiming each other from what I know. Viv has held onto what Sera said as a 9 year old girl who lost her dad and was scared to lose her mom, and because she and Mia aren’t close, she brings it up to her constantly and accuses her of trying to get her way by not embracing Mia.
Julie Tries To Intervene
Julie has since become a supportive figure in Sera’s life, and has tried to intervene and mediate the family conflict:
“Sera told me, my husband and my mother-in-law (who acts as another grandma to her) that she feels like her mom hates her and that she wishes she could move out. She told me she can see now that Mia is more important to her mom and that unless she loves Mia and adopts her as a real sister she’ll never have her mom back. She also told me she wishes she had never said anything to Viv and how much it makes her wish her dad was still around.”
Sera’s Mom Says Julie Is Ruining Her Family
“Viv didn’t like how much time Sera was spending with us,” Julie said. She notes that Viv confronted her and she told Viv “she would lose her daughter if she doesn’t get over this grudge and accept that her child just wanted to experience less change after such a big loss. Viv said I was ruining her family.”
Others Weigh In
Blended families can be a source of joy and growth, but they can also be a source of conflict and pain, especially when they involve loss and trauma. The story of Sera, a 16-year-old girl who lost her father and struggled to accept her mother’s new husband and stepsister, has touched many people who shared their own experiences and advice.
Viv Already Lost Sera
One person said, “Frankly it sounds like your sister already has lost her. In two years can your niece come live with you if she’s not going away for college?” This comment reflects the concern and empathy that many have expressed for Sera, who feels like she is not wanted or loved by her mother and stepsister.
Others Urge Julie To Continue To Look After Sera
Another urged Sera’s aunt to keep supporting and protecting her: “Please don’t leave this girl alone, not after her own mother abandoned her when she was a child who needed support. Is she on therapy? Is she safe with your sister and her new family? Please keep checking on Sera.”
Viv Is Being Selfish
Some have criticized Viv, Sera’s mother, for being selfish and insensitive to her daughter’s feelings. One person said, “I don’t want to sound mean but your sister doesn’t seem to have the family she thinks she has. It will be hard for you to ruin it.”
The Husband Is To Blame
Another pointed out the role of Michael, Viv’s husband, in the situation: “Michael wanted a woman to look after his kid, Viv wanted a man. Seems like both got what they wanted. Forget the kids, ‘they don’t know what life is’.”
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Source: Reddit
