A woman has gotten sick and tired of going to her in-laws every single night and thinks it is excessive. Her partner disagrees.
A woman who we’ll call Rita recently shared her frustration with going to her in laws every night. Rita shared that she and her partner work six days a week and get out of work around 7 PM.
Instead of going straight home after work and relaxing, they have to visit her in-laws every night. However, she recently expressed her desire to just go home and relax after work, which offended her partner.
Rita stated, “sometimes I just want to go straight home after work and relax.” She added that even on their off days, her mother-in-law always calls her partner and tells them to stop by to eat dinner, which can be annoying as she sometimes wants to just relax at home.
While she appreciates the meals, she is more than happy to cook at home or eat takeout. Rita shared, “Sometimes it feels like I am bumming off food from them or that we can’t take care of ourselves.”
Rita apologized for her comment but still wonders if she is in the wrong for not wanting to visit her in-laws every night.
Rita is wondering, “maybe I am being a bad person for not appreciating the gesture. But I still feel like sometimes too much is too much, we are grown adults now (mid 30s). We can take care of ourselves and maybe visit sometimes. Not every day.”
Visiting family is a common way to spend time with loved ones, but it is essential to set boundaries and communicate openly.
Others Weigh In
Many expressed their disbelief at the situation. One person commented, “Who would want to have dinner at their in-laws EVERY night. Even once a week sounds grueling.”
Another added, “This feels like a lot to me. What cultural background is this?”
Some suggested setting boundaries and finding a compromise. One person advised, “I suggest that you make a proposal to do the following: 3 nights per week are for you and your partner as a couple.”
However, some people also suggested that the situation may be more complex than it appears.
One person asked, “Any chance MIL is either recently widowed or recently empty nested?”
Another commented, “Your MIL never let go of her child when he became an adult. She is still treating her child like a 10 yr old instead of the adult that he is.”
In any relationship, it is essential to communicate openly and set boundaries that work for everyone involved. While visiting family is a way to spend time with loved ones, it is crucial to find a balance that allows for personal time and growth as a couple. As one user wisely advised, “You and your partner won’t have any routines or any relationship of any depth because you spent all of your waking hours working or eating dinner with the in-laws.”
Was Rita wrong for wanting to spend time at home?