“As A Woman, I Don’t Want To Feel Like A Patriarch” – Woman Dumbfounded By Husband’s Request
A woman is struggling with the thought of her husband quitting his job to become an artist.
They Both Started With ‘Crappy’ Jobs
In a recent post on Reddit, the original poster (OP) writes about her dilemma in balancing her rising career with her husband’s dream of pursuing a full-time career in art. She says: “When we met we both had crappy jobs and always agreed it would be 50/50 struggling together.”
Her Career Has Taken off
The woman goes on to explain how her career has taken off financially and how she has offered to take on more of the financial burden. However, when her husband suggested he might soon be able to stop working, she was quick to point out: “I never agreed to that. So I very firmly said ‘I never dreamt of financially providing for a grown man… if you stop working, I will lose respect for you.'”
She Regrets Making A Strong Statement
The woman then poses the question of how couples in these situations should handle it, explaining: “Was I off? I mean yes I could technically sustain us on my own but I feel like me improving my situation is no excuse for him to step back in his. I’d even be okay with him going part-time but to be honest, I would expect a lot more to be done around the house. But that also makes me feel like some patriarch from the 50s even though I’m a woman.”
They Need To Discuss Their Situation
As illustrated by the comments, many people agree that this is a situation that needs to be discussed and agreed upon by both partners. One commenter wrote: “These are things that need to be discussed and agreed on. And you are well within your rights to say you don’t want to be the sole breadwinner, even if you make enough to do so. That would be a deal breaker for a lot of folks.”
Others Agree With Her
Another commenter echoed a similar sentiment: “Probably not a popular vote but I’m with you… there is no way I would continue to go to work while a grown man who is in his prime with no issues just decides he can stay at home and do artwork. Nope. Now is the time to be earning and saving. You are both very young. Something could happen to you or your job tomorrow and then where would you be? Your husband would have been out of the job market and now there is no income.”
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Source: Reddit
