First-Time Mom Exasperated By Her Boomer Mom Consistently Offering Unsolicited Advice
Being a first-time parent can be an overwhelming experience, especially when dealing with criticism from a parent or grandparent. In this case, a new mother is struggling with her boomer mom’s critical comments and trying to find a way to set boundaries.
Older First-Time-Mom
The woman, who we’ll call ‘Winnie’, is a 35-year-old first-time mom to a four-month-old baby. Her mother is 67-years-old and Winnie’s baby is her first grandchild.
Critical Comments
“Through out my pregnancy and birth she had been very critical and has always challenged my actions,” Winnie recalls. “Now with the kid, it’s [gotten worse]. My kid just started turning, and we did belly time from 2-3 months. My mom saw [the baby turning] and she was surprised how well the baby was able to hold his head. I told her [that] it’s [because] of tummy time, which our doctor recommended.”
Winnie notes that her mom was sarcastic and said, “of course the doctor recommended it. Why force things when it can happen naturally.”
Parenting Styles
Winnie said that her mom believes that “tummy time is not needed.” She also said that “she never needed to do it for me and my siblings and we turned out fine.”
According to Winnie’s mom pacifiers make teeth crooked, you should feed juice to a 4-month-old, you should give water to a newborn babies, and diapers are too restrictive to kids health.
Setting Boundaries
Many responded to Winnie and offered up advice.
“Externally you might have to find the courage to say things like ‘times have changed, this is what we know about babies development etc’. That part can be really hard, but the sooner you can do it, the sooner you’ll have a boundary set.”
Laugh it Off
Another said that she should just learn to laugh it off internally. “I think internally, you have to laugh. How absurd it all used to be. [In the past] they also said it was fine to smoke and drink during pregnancy. Wild times.”
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