A new mother is considering leaving her partner due to his lack of support and negative behavior towards her and their 6-month-old daughter. Despite his initial support during their daughter’s early weeks of life, the partner has become distant and uninvolved. The mother is frustrated with his behavior and is unsure of how to proceed.
He Was Supportive In The Early Days
The mother, who we’ll call ‘Julia’, said, “Our little one is 6 months old. I had her 6 weeks early as I had a ruptured placenta and we were in the hospital for her first two weeks of life. During this time my partner was amazing and my love for him deepened to another level.”
Lack of Support
Julia notes that her husband’s behavior has changed. “Fast forward to now, he doesn’t seem to care much for our little one. He barely does anything with her. I have to ask him to feed her, change her diapers to help me out when he gets home from work.”
Julia continued. “To add to this, he doesn’t really care for me either. When he gets home from work he just sits and stares at his phone or laptop, and barely engages in conversation. When he does speak to me he is derogatory and nasty. It’s as if I cannot say or do anything right.”
Husband Becomes Infuriated
“Tonight I tried to speak to him about everything,” Julia said. She asked her husband if he is acting up because of her, or if it’s because of the baby. Her husband snapped and accused her of doing absolutely nothing the whole day.
“This has infuriated me because as well as getting up every night with our little one and looking after her 24/7, I keep the house clean, wash all his clothes, and I also walk our dogs.
The husband has a different perspective. “He said he’s working hard at work to provide for us while I’m doing absolutely nothing on maternity leave.”
However, Julie notes that “he works full-time hours as a games programmer and has a really cushy life and job. Working hard isn’t anywhere near what he is doing.”
Disgusted By Him
“I’m disgusted with the way he speaks to me and treats me. He doesn’t value me at all and makes me feel worthless. I had a low lying placenta while pregnant and this man is so lazy that he wouldn’t even walk our dogs. I was doing it while heavily pregnant causing the placental abruption.”
Julia said she’s contemplating leaving. “I honestly feel like leaving him because I don’t want my daughter to be brought up around such a negative, nasty individual but I also don’t want my daughter to lose out on having a dad.”
Others Weigh In
While there were a few people that urged her to leave, one person asked if he has post-partum depression. The person said, “First off I want to start by saying you definitely don’t deserve to be talked to or treated that way. You deserve better. However if this is not how his behavior has always been, is it possible he is experiencing some kind of depression or mental health situation? Apparently fathers can be affected by PPD too. I’m not trying to defend the way he is acting towards you by any means, just playing devils advocate. Especially if he was super involved and attentive the first 2 weeks but now is having difficulty engaging.”
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