The decision to have a baby is a big one, and there are many factors to consider. One of those factors is age. While many people still have children in their 20s and 30s, there is a growing trend of people having babies later in life. Here’s what real people said about having babies later in life.
Time Spent with Children
One concern for parents having children later in life is the amount of time they will have with their children. As one parent shared, “”Personally, I had a daughter at 28, and a son at 34 (2 months ago). My husband and I want another baby and talk about the pros/cons of having them close together or further apart. One thing that weighs on me is if we waited multiple years so I was 40 or older, while medically possible, means I’d have (most likely) less time with that child as an adult or once they have kids of their own. They wouldn’t even hit 30 until I was 70.”
It’s All Relative
Another offered a different perspective, “I don’t know, my mom passed away in a freak accident and I’m in my 30s. She had kids in her 20s. It’s entirely a roll of the dice, and “time spent” is relative. I don’t advocate having a kid at 60 but 40 really isn’t that big of a deal as long as you won’t need them to care for you”
Enjoying the Years in Between
For some parents, having children later in life means they get to enjoy all the years in between. “40 year old dad of an 18 month old, our first and only. I just didn’t meet the person I wanted to have kids with till I was 35. We’re one and done due some complications on the last pregnancy. I couldn’t be happier. Sure I’ll miss some years on the back end and that kind of sucks, but I get to enjoy all the years between.”
Fertility can be a concern for parents having children later in life. “Hi. Older mom here. I waited until 37 and had no trouble conceiving my son. Now I’m 39 and even IVF couldn’t help me have another,” one parent shared. “If you really want to wait, GO FREEZE YOUR EGGS NOW. Seriously. Wish someone had told me to.”
Time Is About Quality
“Time is about quality. If you spend time as a family making memories together, well the kid will always know how they were loved and wanted in the family, whether you have thirty years with them or fifty.”
Pros and Cons of Both
Some parents have had children both earlier and later in life and can see the pros and cons of both. “I did both, I had a baby at age 20 and my second recently at age 43,” one parent shared. They pointed out that it would be ideal to have their current personality and their 20-year-old body for more energy.
Finding The Right Partner
Another said, one factor that they didn’t take into account is the time it takes to find the right partner. “I had my son at 39 and my daughter at 41. If I had a choice, I would have had them when I was younger for multiple reasons, but it took me a while to find my partner. And then it took us a while to get (and stay) pregnant. That being said, I think I’m a calmer and more easygoing mother than I thought I would be and a lot of it comes from being older and more established.”
Realizing Too Late
“Had my first when I was 35. It wasn’t until a while after that I realized that when she’s 40 I’d be 75. That made me real sad. You don’t think about these things, we’ll I didn’t, when I was in my 20s not even thinking about marriage or children.”
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