One woman is fed up with people asking her how she feels about giving up her social life for her unborn baby.
Pregnancy can be a time of joy and excitement for many women, but it can also be a time of frustration when others project their negative experiences onto expectant mothers.
For this expectant mother who we’ll call Anne, pregnancy is a joyful experience. She and her husband planned to conceive their baby, and they are excited about the future. However, she feels surrounded by friends and relatives who project their negative experiences onto her. As she shares, “It feels like our friends feel trapped in their lives but we don’t. We want to be parents!”
Every Kick Is Exciting
For expectant mothers who had a planned pregnancy, every change is exciting. As Anne shares, “Every kick, every movement is so much fun.”
Joy Dampened By Negative Opinions
However, Anne shares that her joy is dampened by negative opinions. “I feel I’m surrounded by accidental parents,” Anne said. “but my husband and I wanted this baby. Unlike friends, we own our own home, we live in a terrific school district, and planned to conceive our baby. We want this!”
Negative Questions And Fear Mongering
Anne goes on and shares the questions and opinions she’s been receiving from friends and relatives.
Some ask, “have you accepted you can’t do anything anymore?”
Others point out, “You’re going to get no sleep.”
“Going to the store will be a huge ordeal”
“Have fun never going on vacation”
Anne Is Prepared
Anne is tired of receiving comments and questions that have a negative tone. She explains that she will have her mother staying over the first few weeks to help with recovering from giving birth, and she continually says that they wanted this baby and are prepared to integrate going to the store and functioning day-to-day with a baby in tow.
One person also said, “Have fun never going on vacation,” to which she responded by explaining that they travel often and “are actually looking forward to bringing the kid and showing them different cultures.”
Find Your Tribe
One parent responded and gave this advice: “Before we started having kids, one of my best friends had already had kids and she gave me great advice. She said basically, parenting can be done in a bunch of different ways, so surround yourself with likeminded parents. Some people take their kids on international vacations and some people can’t fathom doing a short road trip with theirs. Find your people and ignore the rest.”
Trapped Because They Chose To Be
Another said, “my mother gave me some great advice when she found out I was pregnant — some parents are trapped because they want to be. It’s easier to admit defeat and let children absolutely consume you and your life than it is to push forward. Things like hobbies and being your own person and travelling are harder when you’re responsible for a baby, but they’re not impossible. People often like to pretend they are because they feel better thinking they’re not doing it because they can’t.”
What advice would you give Anne?