Deciding to have a baby is a big decision that requires careful consideration. There are many factors to consider, from financial stability to relationship readiness. Here we’ll explore how people determined they were ready to have babies.
Gain Outweighed Other Things
One person shared that they knew they were ready when they realized that “what I would gain started to outweigh what I would have to give up.”
Others feel ready when they’re in a stable relationship. “I felt very secure in my relationship. My husband and I had traveled the world and been married for a few years. Built good careers, there wasn’t a lot that wasn’t relatively stable in our lives. The catalyst though is my IUD was expiring and I really didn’t want to suffer through another insertion when we were thinking of kids,” one person said.
For others, it’s the biological urge that swayed them. “I never “knew” I was ready. But I no longer felt I had more partying and enjoying of child-free life to do and I just had a massive biological urge for a child.”
Resilience and Acceptance
Having a child requires resilience and the ability to face difficult situations. One person shared, “What you need in order to be ready for kids is resilience to face difficult situations. You need to understand and accept that having a child is difficult but having the strength and support you need makes a difference. If you’re ready to accept childbirth knowing and understanding all of the risks, you’re ready. If you’re expecting a healthy and normal pregnancy and that’s all you’re ready for, you’re not ready.”
Age and Life Planning
Someone else said what swayed them to try for a child is their age. “To be honest, my age. I’ll be 30 soon and my husband is 5 years older than me. I realized if we want to have multiple kids, we kind of have to get to it.”
Having a stable financial situation is important before having a child. One respondent said, “we’ve been married for 4 years, together for 9. We are good financially and our relationship is very healthy. And ultimately, we both want children now”
The Biological Clock
For some people, the biological clock plays a big role in deciding to have a child. One respondent said, “I’m pregnant now and honestly I just woke up one day and felt ready. I’m 29, and one of my friends has an infant who I get to see pretty often so I got to talk with her a lot about having a baby as well.”
Another said, “This happened to me too. Suddenly one day my body was just screaming to get impregnated and my mind jumped on board too and it was like every baby I encountered after that strengthened my conviction.”
Imagining Future Life
“We were happily child free for 5 years but started imagining our lives when we retire and saw ourselves with adult children. We own a home that had space, we both do well financially, and we have family nearby to help. We decided we would try but if it didn’t happen, we were okay with that.”
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