A woman, who we’ll call “Sasha” wonders if she’s in the wrong for telling her stepsister why her daughter doesn’t get invited to parties.
Sasha explains the situation in detail, highlighting the behavior issues of her stepsister’s daughter, Gemma. She also highlights Gemma’s lack of manners and destructive behavior that made her nearly impossible to be around. Sasha also mentions how Gemma is not kind to the people around her and lacks social skills.
The conversation between Sasha and Micah
Sasha detailed the dinner conversation she had with her dad and her stepsister, Micah, about her daughter Serena’s birthday party. Micah asked if her daughter, Gemma was invited, to which Sasha said no because Serena was having a small party and the girl cousins were not close. The conversation goes back and forth, with Micah accusing Sasha of teaching Serena to exclude people.
Sasha said she got fed up with trying to be diplomatic and decided to be honest with Micah. Sasha said that she wasn’t surprised that Gemma wasn’t invited to parties because of her behaviour and lack of social skills. “I said that Gemma is not kind to the people around her and lacks social skills and she’s at an age where kids will notice that and not be forgiving.”
Sasha explains how Micah was taken aback by her honesty and accused her of being cruel about a child. Micah left and is apparently not speaking to her dad because he didn’t stand up for her over what Sasha said.
The family’s reactions
Sasha said that her stepdad said she was right, but it’s hard to be honest in front of Micah about Gemma. Sasha’s mother also said it’s not easy to hear about your child. Sasha’s husband says she should have stuck to saying no to Gemma coming to the party and should not have elaborated further.
Sasha now questions whether she was out of bounds to say what she said to Micah. She says she generally tries to stay in her lane and not get involved in other people’s parenting or family business, but the comment was topical to what Micah was trying to force them to do.
Micah’s pushy behavior
Some of the responses highlight the impact of pushy behavior on the part of Micah, the stepsister. They suggest that Micah was hoping her pushiness would lead to an invite to Serena’s birthday party.
“Micah pushed for answers and she got them. I’m sure she was just hoping her pushiness led to an invite.”
She should address her daughter’s behavior issues
Some people suggest that it’s important to address behavior issues in children and work on improving their social skills. They hope that the situation will be a catalyst for Micah to step up her parenting game.
“Could this be a catalyst for Micah to step up her parenting game? I hope so – for the child’s sake. Empathy is hard to teach but behavioral consequences should definitely be present.”
The problem with making excuses
Others highlight the problem with making excuses for children’s behavior and turning them into ‘entitled little snots’. They suggest that some parents ignore their child’s behavior issues for their own convenience.
“We make so many excuses [and] turn them into entitled little snots. Let’s accept that her mother doesn’t discipline her. That this child is basically just not giving a darn about anything but what she wants.”
The importance of honesty
Some people suggest that it’s important to be honest with parents about their child’s behavior issues. They suggest that it’s not cruel to point out that a child struggles socially to their parents.
“It’s not cruel at all to point out that a child struggles socially to their parents.”
The impact of exclusion
One person suggest that exclusion can have a negative impact on children’s self-esteem and mental health. However, they also acknowledge that not inviting someone to a birthday party is not exclusion if the child will ruin the experience for others.
“Even then, not inviting someone to a birthday party is not exclusion. If Gemma truly will ruin the experience at the party for your daughter and the other girls, it makes perfect sense not to invite her.”
More comments about addressing behavior issues
Another person highlight the importance of addressing behavior issues in children and not ignoring them for the sake of convenience. They suggest that Micah’s lack of action has set her daughter up for a long, lonely childhood and adolescence.
“The only cruel one here is Micah. By ignoring her daughter’s behavior instead of getting her the help she clearly needs, she’s set her up for a long lonely childhood and adolescence. If this is the event that finally moves her into action then I’d say you’re the GOAT of aunts.”
The role of parenting
One person suggests that parenting plays a role in a child’s behavior and social skills. They suggest that Micah should work on improving her parenting skills to help Gemma improve her behavior and social skills.
“Parenting plays a role in a child’s behavior and social skills. Micah should work on improving her parenting skills.”
The impact on others
Some also highlight the impact of behavior issues on others, and how it’s not fair to force others to accommodate a child’s behavior issues. They suggest that Micah should work on addressing Gemma’s behavior issues instead of expecting others to accommodate her.
“Behavior issues can have a negative impact on others, and it’s not fair to force others to accommodate them. Micah should work on addressing Gemma’s behavior issues.”
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