A woman is wondering if she is in the wrong for refusing to do housework even though she is unemployed.
A young lady who we will call ‘Lauren’ shares her situation with her boyfriend. She says that they have been together for only five months, and that ‘he’s amazing’. However, she said that they often disagree over housework. “My boyfriend thinks that I should do housework, seeing as he works 48 hours a week, and I’m not employed.”
Lauren has always refused. She explains that she doesn’t live with her boyfriend and that they live in separate houses and pay separate rent. Lauren is able to pay for her rent using student loans.
Despite not living together, Lauren’s boyfriend still insists that she does chores. “My boyfriend thinks it’s unfair that I don’t really work, yet have enough money to rent. In his eyes, I should do household chores for him, because he is the ‘breadwinner’.”
Lauren disagrees. “I don’t see him as the breadwinner. He doesn’t pay for my rent, I do. We aren’t married, and I’m still in school.”
Does Not Want To Be A Maid
Lauren shares that she still cooks for him even though she refuses to help with chores. “I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable. I cook for him, and occasionally help with chores, but I refuse to be a full time maid for him. Then again, he works so hard whereas I only work a few hours a week.”
Big Red Flag
Many people weight in on Lauren’s dilemma and warned her that his behavior is a red flag. “This is NOT a normal request at all. Five months into a relationship and he’s already talking about being a breadwinner and trying to distribute household chores and rent when not even living together? That is insane.”
Problematic Age Gap
Another said that their age gap is the issue. “While a six year age gap in and of itself is not a big deal, the specific age gap you guys have is often problematic because a 25 year old wanting to date a literal teenager usually signals that the 25-year-old is both immature AND controlling. Case in point, your boyfriend is being immature AND controlling here. He’s also being ridiculous. You’re a student, you’re not his maid. Do you really want to waste your early 20s with this guy?”
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