A woman is wondering how to handle a situation with her brother and sister-in-law who ignored them when she had her first-born child.
A couple has shared their experience of being ignored by the woman’s older brother and sister-in-law after having their first baby girl. They have only just met them again after one year, and are hesitant to open up again, despite the good news that their brother and sister-in-law are expecting a baby in November.
The Pain of Family Neglect
The couple had been ignored by their older brother and sister-in-law after having their first baby girl. They had repeatedly questioned them about the reasons for the neglect, but didn’t get a straight answer.
Dealing with Infertility
The woman explained that her brother and his wife were dealing with infertility. They just recently became successful with conceiving and are expecting their baby in a few months. “They were planning on a baby as well and were unsuccessful until now: They are expecting a baby in November.”
The couple is hesitant to open up again, despite the good news that their brother and sister-in-law are expecting a baby in November. They want to be supportive, but do not want to commit until they are certain that their brother and sister-in-law would do the same for them.
Others Weigh In
Someone offered that it might have been difficult for the brother and his wife to be around them. “Sometimes it’s hard for people who are dealing with infertility to be around those who are able to have children. I speak from experience. It hurt my soul in a way I will never be able to explain and I would come up with every excuse in the book to not attend baby showers because I would cry.”
Losing A Friend
“I have a friend who stopped speaking to me after I had my first. She lost both of her ovaries and watching someone have a life you so badly want hurts to the core. I’m 100% projecting my experience but perhaps that was the situation in this case. Maybe now that they have their own little nugget it might help them bond with you. It’s a wait and see situation.”
Giving Them An Opportunity To Speak
Another said it might be worth giving her brother and sister-in-law to explain themselves without being judgemental. “I would also suggest that they were dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss and needed to distance from you to shield themselves. In an ideal world they would have had the conversation with you but in many circles it’s not really a conversation that happens. Perhaps you need to have a conversation about how you felt and give them the opportunity to explain why they felt the need for that distance.”
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