A mother is seeking advice after her 4-year-old daughter came home from daycare and told her that one of the daycare providers told her she smells bad and needs to take a bath. The mother is trying to gather more information and plans to talk to the daycare provider, but is unsure of how to proceed. The incident has left the mother upset and concerned about her daughter’s confidence.
Everything Seemed Normal
The mother began by saying, “my four-year-old daughter came home today from daycare. Everything seemed fine, she ate and sat down to play. Nothing was odd about her behavior.”
Daughter Said She Needs A Bath
“After a while she came up to me and told me “Mommy I need to take a bath”. I asked why, as she just took a bath the day before,” the mother said. That’s when she found out that one of the ladies at daycare told her that her head smells and that she needs to take a bath. My daughter told me she cried, and then she went on to play after a while.
The mother tried to look for the smell. “I smelled my daughters hair and it didn’t stink at all. My daughter has fresh cornrows in, and her hair was washed thoroughly prior to the braiding. I smelled her entire body, and didn’t catch a whiff of anything. She goes to daycare in clean clothes every morning.”
Embarrassed In Front Of Others
“[My daughter] said that the daycare provider told her she needs to take bath, and the other kids heard.” This led to the other children chanting “take a shower, take a shower” loudly, which made her daughter cry.
“I’m crying my eyes out, I don’t want this to ruin my daughter’s confidence.”
Speaking To The Daycare Provider
The mother is resolved to find out exactly what happened, but is looking for advice on how to proceed. “I plan on talking to the daycare provider tomorrow. I’m not sure what to say or if I’m overreacting. I plan on first asking what happened and going from there.”
Others respond. One person said, “the provider is smelling whatever oils/products you use in her hair prior to braiding. Best case scenario, the teacher is sensitive to whatever products you use. Or her racism might be showing. You should absolutely report this teacher to whoever their boss is.”
She Should Have Told The Parents
Another person said, “If they had concerns about her hygiene at all, they should have contacted you. I don’t think you are overreacting at all and I would definitely speak with them. My daughter hadn’t been wearing socks with her shoes because she doesn’t always like them. One day, the daycare provider told me that her feet are getting pretty sweaty and sometimes stinky, and suggested that I send her in socks until it cools down. But they didn’t tell my daughter that her feet smelled. I think the caretaker was out of line to say that to her. Especially since it clearly upset her.”
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