One woman is irritated that her husband keeps inviting her in-laws over while she’s still recovering from giving birth.
The Importance of Recovery Time
After giving birth to her third child, this mother who we’ll call Laura, made it clear to her husband that she needed time to adjust and recover before having guests over.
Figuring Out New Dynamics
“I’m in a stupor of sleeplessness, pumping exclusively since baby wouldn’t latch, and figuring out how to take care of two other kids with a newborn,” Laura said. “I didn’t even want guests at the hospital, but we compromised and had his parents and mine over the 2nd day.”
Disrupting Postpartum Recovery
Despite her wishes, her husband continued to invite his parents over without consulting her, causing stress and overwhelm during a crucial time. “Last week, while my husband was at work, he called and TOLD me that his parents were coming to visit at 6pm (while he would still be at work). I told him it’s overwhelming to have them over while’s he’s at work but they came any way. He never told them not to come.”
“Again, today, he calls me to tell me his parents are coming over tomorrow while he will be at work,” Laura said. “We got into a big fight. Apparently I’m ‘holding their grandchild from them’.”
Laura Needs Help
Laura explains to her husband that she would just prefer if her husband were home so she can pump when she needs to. “Last time they were here they just sat on the couch trying to hold the baby while he cried for me and ended up staying until the older kids had to go to bed and I about had a meltdown because they would not leave.”
Laura Is Exhausted
She continues, “I’m still bleeding, dealing with the whole nursing issue and frankly just exhausted. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to be consented when having guests invited over when I’m home.”
Coordinate With Her In-laws Herself
One person suggested Laura should coordinate with her in-laws herself instead of leaving it up to her husband. “If you feel comfortable I’d call or text saying whatever date and time your husband choose doesn’t work. If you want to be nice you could say they could stop by when your spouse is home, maybe even set at date. If you are feeling petty just say your spouse will bring the older 2 over on his day off and they can bond with the new baby at a later time.”
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