Hoarding And Trust Issues: 13 Signs That An Adult Was Neglected As A Child

Childhood neglect can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s life. From hoarding to trust issues, we’ll explore some of the signs that an adult may have experienced neglect as a child.

Constant Apologizing

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Adults who were neglected as children may apologize excessively, even for things that don’t require an apology.

Fast Talking

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Adults who were neglected may be prone to fast talking because they’re not used to someone listening to them or not talking over them.

Hyper-Independence

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Adults who were neglected may struggle to ask for help, even in situations where it’s necessary. One person said, “I do not ask for help until the situation is literally basically life or death. I’m a hyper independent individual and being vulnerable and open just isn’t in my personality.”

People Pleasing

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Adults who were neglected may engage in people-pleasing behavior to try to gain approval and affection.

Feeling Insignificant

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Adults who were neglected may be surprised that their existence and actions are perceptible or meaningful to others. One person explained it by saying, “For example, a person who was neglected as a child might easily blow off hangouts, not bother responding to texts, and show up late to things, expecting that nobody really notices their presence or has any care whether or not they’re around in the first place. Usually it is surprising to realize that this has actually made the other people feel bad, but it is done with the genuine belief that literally nobody cares and you have no possible influence on anybody’s life or feelings either way.”

Abandonment and Temper Issues

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Adults who were neglected may struggle with abandonment issues and have difficulty controlling their temper.

Relationship Issues

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Adults who were neglected may seek out unavailable partners and have trouble maintaining healthy relationships.

Lack of Family Talk

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Adults who were neglected may rarely share what happens at home or talk about their family.

Oversharing and Trauma Dumping

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On the other hand, adults who were neglected may also overshare and trauma dump constantly, seeking validation and understanding.

Hoarding

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Adults who were neglected may hoard certain things, as if they never had enough and are afraid someone will take it away.

Trust Issues

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Adults who were neglected may struggle to trust promises that people make and avoid conflict as much as possible. One person said, “”I avoid conflict as much as possible and tend to look for an exit if things get loud or if people move fast.”

No Burden

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They may also try hard not to be a burden to others and may feel guilty if anyone buys them anything. “If anyone buys me anything, I feel guilty or like it might be held over my head.”

Isolation And Self Doubt

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The same person said, “I find more comfort alone or with animals than most people. I’m worried that I’m constantly disappointing people around me, and I wonder why anyone would want to be my friend or a romantic partner.”

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