Friendships can be challenging to maintain as people get older and responsibilities increase. This has led some to question whether millennials are still able to cultivate close friendships. Here are the differing perspectives on this topic.
Moving A lot
“When I grew up we used to move a lot and we didn’t had social media back then, so I don’t have any childhood friends. My oldest friends are from 10-12 years ago, but we barely talk these days. Work consumes a lot of time, and it seems we aren’t on the same vibe when we do hang out, so I rarely go out with them. Sometimes I miss the good old times, but I just don’t have patience anymore to cultivate new friendships.”
Maintaining Friendships Takes Effort
“Friendships take work. I still have a fair amount of friends — because I put in the work to make time to see them, or to text/connect if they’re further away. The grass is greener where you water it.”
Focus On Family
One person pointed out that while they don’t have friends, any socialization needs they do have are filled with family. “I don’t have friends. I’m not sure if others do, but I definitely don’t. The only person in my life is my wife, a few family members, and “work friendships” that only exist at work”
Corporate Grind To Blame
Another pointed out that while it’s difficult to maintain friendships because of the corporate grind, it’s still possible if you put in effort. “The corporate grind is really and draining. If you want to make a change, then you’ll have to change yourself. All relationships are a 2-way street. You have to put in the effort. Otherwise, the relationship will fail.”
Another spent time reminiscing about past friendships. “All our lives are consumed by work. Other than the occasional text and meet up once every couple of years, we don’t talk anymore. Even when we do meet we just don’t relate to one another like we used to.”
Making Friends as an Adult
Despite the general sentiment that friendships are hard to make after 30, one person offered a different perspective. “I made my incredible circle of besties after 30. I only have one friend that’s long term. We call ourselves the Spectacular 6. My advice is to hit up breweries or local bars that do trivia nights, or different types of events. You don’t have to be a big drinker (I’ve done most of these sober) , there are always soft drinks and whatnot, but the main event is the trivia and other activities. The more you go, the more you get to know regulars, and regulars recommend other things. That’s how you eventually meet new people that are worth hanging out with outside of those events.”
Selfishness Is To Blame
“A lot of the problem is that people are selfish, and if somebody does something they don’t like, they cut them off, or they don’t take the time to go and meet their friends. A lot of things I see are selfish people who expect everyone to come to them.”
Social Media’s Role
“My only friends are people I went to high school with. And that’s only because socal media started to exist around that time so when we all graduated we were able to keep in touch easier. I know people hate Facebook, but if that platform didn’t exist I probably wouldn’t have any friends as I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for the last 14.5 years. I live 3 hours away from the closest family/friends, and 20 hours from the furthest, so the Internet has really helped us stay in touch.”
Quality over Quantity
“What I’ve realized is that even when I had a hundred friends (college and my twenties), I really had 5. Today, I’m 36, and I still have those same 5 really good friends.”
Opportunity to Make Connections
Lastly, one person pointed out, “There is a surge of people who need friends right now. Take advantage of that! Help them out and make friends.”
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