Being a stay-at-home mom is a choice that many women make, often sacrificing their own career aspirations and financial independence to prioritize their children’s safety and wellbeing. However, what happens when those children grow up and resent their mother for making that choice? A woman shares her frustration as her children blame her for their financial woes.
The Resentment of a Grown Child
One mother we’ll call ‘Lisa’, recently shared her story of how her grown child resents her for being a stay-at-home mom. “My adult, grown kid says they resent me for being a stay at home mom, because now I can’t help with their life financially.”
Sacrificing Career and Financial Independence
As a stay-at-home mom, Lisa made the choice to prioritize her children’s safety and wellbeing over her own career aspirations and financial independence. “I enjoyed being a stay at home mom, I thought it was best, and we made it by just fine financially.”
Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t
Despite making what she believed was the best choice for her family, this mother is now facing the consequences of her decision. She has received comments such as “you’ve never hard a job or gone to school so you don’t understand,” and “the least you can do is get a job now to help me,” and “you should’ve worked all those years” from her children.
Husband Is Appalled
Lisa’s husband shares her frustration. According to her, her husband is appalled and angry, especially with all the extra emotional support Lisa has been giving her children as young adults.
Life Is Hard For Her Children
Lisa notes that one of her child is finding it hard to cope with life outside the nest. “But this one is 19+ and chose to move far away from home. She is currently in school but have already completed some college, works full time, and goes to school full time. She gets a decent amount of grants, and uses student loans to cover tuition.”
Don’t Take It Personally
One person advised, “They are most likely seeing that some of their friends parents give them money and so they’re jealous, embarrassed or resentful and are blaming you. They are still emotionally immature brand new adults who are working through some of these issues. Just don’t take it personally.”
Play The Long Game
They continued, “Let them work through it, and they’ll come around. If you don’t get reactive they will know that you are still and always have been that safe place for them. That’s your value, that’s why you chose SAHM. Play the long game here. They’ll end up seeing how you handled the insults with grace. Know your worth, and this will pass.”
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