Wife Spends $100K On Beauty Pageants For Her Four Daughters; Husband Says Wife Is Living Vicariously Through Them

Father of four angers wife after questioning her decision to put their four children in pageants.

The Backstory

When it comes to beauty pageants, opinions are divided. On the one hand, they can be a source of joy, confidence-building, and opportunity for those involved. On the other, they are often criticized for being too coercive, promoting a one-size-fits-all approach to beauty and teaching the wrong lessons to children. Nowhere is this dichotomy more apparent than in the situation faced by one married couple.

“I feel so gaslighted about the whole situation so please let me know if I’m in the wrong here,” says the husband, a 30-year-old man who is married to a 25-year-old woman and has four young daughters. All four girls participate in beauty pageants, and their parents are investing a significant amount of money into the endeavor—“probably 100K a year,” according to the husband.

However, the husband is beginning to have second thoughts about his wife’s commitment to the pageants. “I hate some of the glitz pageants [my wife] puts them in and she makes them look 35,” he explains. “I don’t also think it’s healthy for our daughters to compete against each other, especially my twin girls. Because well she doesn’t see it, but when they lose you can tell they’re really hurt.”

“When I bring this up to my wife and voice my concerns, she shuts it down and says ‘well I was in pageants since I was 10 months old and I’m just fine and it blessed me with a lot of opportunities like pay for my college,’” the husband said.

The husband accused his wife of living vicariously through their daughters, and has been on the receiving end of the cold shoulder ever since. “I’m starting to feel bad,” he laments. “I’m starting to think maybe I don’t understand it and that I’m being too much of a dad.”

Beauty pageants are a controversial issue, and it’s understandable why this couple is feeling so conflicted. There’s no easy answer to the dilemma posed by this husband, but it’s clear that the couple must come to a resolution that respects their daughter’s individual autonomy and takes into account both the potential benefits and drawbacks of beauty pageants.

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The Crowd Weighs In

While many may think beauty pageants are harmless, the husband is concerned about the well-being of his daughters, feeling as though his wife is ‘vicariously living through’ them. As one commenter says, “Your wife IS vicariously living through your daughters. I really wish beauty pageants didn’t exist and it really upsets me when people put makeup on the kids participating, like they aren’t beautiful enough in their natural state. You guys need to get into some counselling and she needs therapy. It’s one thing to do it once a year or something for fun, but this is ridiculous. Getting help now may save your children resentment in the future.”

Another person offers a more blunt assessment, saying, “you have more money than sense if you’re seriously dropping anywhere near $100k on children’s beauty pageants.”

This man’s situation is a prime example of how difficult it can be to reach a middle ground when two parties have different views. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, but it’s important to take a step back and consider the feelings of everyone involved to ensure long term happiness.

This article has been inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Arnie Nicola