One woman wonders why her in-laws insist on changing her son’s clothes immediately after he steps foot in their house.
The relationship between in-laws can be a delicate balance, especially when it comes to parenting decisions. For one mother, the issue of separate clothes for her son at her mother-in-law’s house has become a point of contention.
The woman, who we’ll call ‘Mina’ starts off by saying “I have a pretty good relationship with my in-laws. They’re good parents/grandparents/in-laws.”
Separate Set Of Clothes
Despite their good relationship, Mina says that one particular behavior of her mother-in-law (MIL) irks her. “My son is 2 and their first and only grandchild. My mother-in-law buys clothes for him to keep at her house. I pack his bags and dress him and she will change his clothes when he gets there and not even open his overnight bag.”
Mina recently talked to her in-laws about her son’s growth spurt. Her MIL immediately says she now has to go shopping for new clothes for her grandchild. Mina can’t rationalize why, but the thought of her MIL buying a separate set of clothes at their house bothers her. “I don’t know why it bothers me so much and I can’t put my finger on what exactly bothers me about it. If my grandmother did this while I was growing up, I think my mom would think she was nuts. But then again, my grandmother had 20-something grandkids.”
Living 2 Hours Away
Mina tried to clarify the situation by adding, “We live about two hours away from them. He’ll go to their house for a weekend (maybe) once a month. Sometimes that stretches to once every two months because they have weekend plans/obligations/work.” She notes that while other kids are at their grandparents’ house multiple times a week, that is not her current situation.
She notes that she’s not very confrontational and believes in picking your battles, which is why she hasn’t said anything to her MIL. She also said she doesn’t want her MIL to get defensive, but she is confused by the action. “Sometimes I wonder if she just doesn’t like the way I dress him. (That’s probably not the case but who knows. There’s always a little part of me that thinks people think I’m not mom-ing well.)”
Doing Things Against Her Wishes
Mina also said another thing that irks her is the fact that they always wash his clothes. She said she asks them to throw it all in a grocery bag so she can just dump it all in the wash when he gets home. However her MIL ignores her request. Mina said, “When she washes anything at her house, it gets mixed with their laundry and lost. They ignored that request and still wash things. I get that they probably think they’re doing me a favor, but I don’t like that I got ignored.”
Changes Him Immediately
She also emphasized that her MIL changes her son’s clothes immediately after arriving. She said, “The last time we all went over for Easter, I had him in an outfit and she took him and changed him. He was wearing a tee and cotton pants. She literally changed him into her own tee and cotton pants. I walked in on it and asked, ‘oh, did his diaper leak? She ruffled and acted like she felt guilty and just said something to the effect of, no no I just thought I’d change his clothes.’ I shrugged and left.”
Why do you think her MIL keeps changing her son’s clothes?