She Regrets Telling Her Relatives She Is Open To Visitors After Giving Birth

A woman wonders how she can retract her decision to tell her family that they can visit immediately after she gives birth.

The Situation

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A soon-to-be mother, who we’ll call ‘Jackie’ is feeling overwhelmed by the number of visitors planning to see her newborn baby immediately after her delivery. Despite her initial openness to visitors, she is now worried about how she will manage the influx of family members, including her 12-year-old brother who will be staying with her during the first few days after the baby’s arrival.

First Child In The Family

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Jackie is expecting her first child and is due next month. She has a large immediate family, including divorced parents and siblings.

Her Big Mistake

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She made the mistake of telling them that she and her husband are open to visitors after the baby’s arrival, but is now feeling overwhelmed by the number of people planning to visit.

Concerns Regarding Her 12-Year-Old Brother

giving birth
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Her mother plans to bring her 12-year-old brother to stay with them for a few days, which is causing additional stress for Jackie.

Postpartum Concerns

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Jackie is worried about how she will manage with visitors while dealing with postpartum recovery. She is also concerned about having her 12-year-old brother in the house while she is trying to learn how to breastfeed and manage her own recovery. She is also worried about his potential comments regarding her appearance.

The People-Pleaser

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Jackie admits to being a big people-pleaser and is unsure how to put her foot down at this point. She is worried that it is too late to change her stance on visitors and is feeling overwhelmed by the situation.

Many Urge Her To Retract Her Invitation

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Many empathized with Jackie and understood her worries. One person suggested retracting her invitation which her family should be able to understand. They said, “If you are feeling this much anxiety, it may be in your best interest to simply tell your family you’ve changed your mind about visitors. Would it be possible to send a kindly worded email that explains you are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of love and support, but that you need to kindly ask people to delay their visits to a week or two after birth?”

The same person suggested speaking to Jackie’s mother regarding her brother. “Regardless the above, you should definitely talk to your mom about your concerns around your kid brother. She can set expectations with him and help keep him in line.”

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