Pregnant Woman Pressured By Mother-In-Law To Breastfeed Once Baby Comes
Pregnant woman is at her wit’s end as her mother-in-law continues to pester her about breastfeeding after she gives birth.
In an age of increased awareness surrounding parental rights, the pressure to breastfeed can often cause a conflict between mother and mother-in-law. One mother-to-be, in her early 20s, is dealing with this exact issue.
“I’m pregnant with my first kid and to be quite honest, I do not want to breastfeed,” she says. “There’s so much that comes with it including stress and this pregnancy has been stressful enough! I have my mind set on this and no one can change it, especially not my mother in law.”
Unfortunately, this mother-in-law is intent on convincing the mom-to-be to breastfeed, going so far as to criticize her doctor for supporting her choice. “She even went as far as criticizing my doctor… for supporting my decision in doing what I want and called her a bad doctor…”
It can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship while grappling with such a sensitive subject. The mother-in-law’s persistence has caused the expectant mother to feel like her age is being used against her. “I am in my early 20’s and I feel like she uses that against me to make it seem like I don’t know what I’m doing just because I’m a younger mom.”
It can be tough for the mother-in-law to remember that the mom-to-be is ultimately in charge of her own decisions. “My mom and grandma never breastfed and we are all very fine,” she says. “I love my daughter with everything in me but I’m just not willing to do it.”
In a case like this, it’s important to remember that the mother-in-law is likely only trying to help. However, it’s also important to make sure that her own perspective doesn’t take precedence over the wishes of the mother-to-be. “It’s gotten to the point now where she’s getting her son to say some of the same things to me and I promise I couldn’t care less because they will not be the ones doing it and putting in that effort.”
The mother-in-law should be aware that her words may have greater weight than she realizes. “It’s bothersome that she even tried to get him to go against what I want and need as a mom in the first place.”
Ultimately, it’s up to the mother-to-be to decide what’s best for her and her baby. It’s important to remember that the decision to breastfeed or not is a personal one, and the mother-in-law should respect that decision no matter what she believes.
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People Say The Mother-In-Law Doesn’t Get To Decide
As another mother puts it, “Opinions are like butt holes; everyone’s got one. I’m a bottle fed formula baby who is completely and totally fine, I plan to breastfeed but that’s my decision, my husband and everyone else knew better than to say a word.”
When it comes to standing up for her own wishes, the mother-to-be should remember that her mother-in-law’s opinion does not get a vote. “Stop arguing about it! Don’t discuss it with her and do whatever you want. You’ll never convince her and she’ll never convince you, it’s a stressful waste of time. Tell her you will not discuss this further with her, and if you say it more than 2-3 times and she’s still doing it walk away/hang up/disengage every single time. She doesn’t get a vote, stop acting as if she does!”
As one mother humorously puts it, “Tell her that if breastfeeding your daughter is so important to her, she can do it.” Ultimately, the mother-to-be should remember that she is in charge of her own decisions, and that she should not be pressured into making any choice she does not want to make.
This article has been inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Arnie Nicola
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