Pregnant woman is at her wit’s end as her mother-in-law continues to pester her about breastfeeding after she gives birth.
She Doesn’t Want To Breastfeed
A woman, who we’ll call Claire, has made up her mind that she doesn’t want to breastfeed. “I’m pregnant with my first kid and to be quite honest, I do not want to breastfeed,” she says. “There’s so much that comes with it including stress and this pregnancy has been stressful enough! I have my mind set on this and no one can change it, especially not my mother in law.”
Mother-In-Law Tries To Convince Her
Unfortunately, this mother-in-law is intent on convincing the Claire to breastfeed, going so far as to criticize her doctor for supporting her choice. “She even went as far as criticizing my doctor… for supporting my decision in doing what I want,” Claire said. Apparently her mother-in-law said her doctor was a ‘bad doctor’.
Age Used Against Her
It can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship while grappling with such a sensitive subject. The mother-in-law’s persistence has caused Claire to feel like her age is being used against her. “I am in my early 20’s and I feel like she uses that against me to make it seem like I don’t know what I’m doing just because I’m a younger mom.”
Her Mom Didn’t Breastfeed
It can be tough for the mother-in-law to remember that the mom-to-be is ultimately in charge of her own decisions. “My mom and grandma never breastfed and we are all very fine,” she says. “I love my daughter with everything in me but I’m just not willing to do it.”
She Is Involving Her Son
In a case like this, it’s important to remember that the mother-in-law is likely only trying to help. However, it’s also important to make sure that her own perspective doesn’t take precedence over the wishes of the mother-to-be. “It’s gotten to the point now where she’s getting her son to say some of the same things to me and I promise I couldn’t care less because they will not be the ones doing it and putting in that effort.”
The mother-in-law should be aware that her words may have greater weight than she realizes. “It’s bothersome that she even tried to get him to go against what I want and need as a mom in the first place.”
People Say The Mother-In-Law Doesn’t Get To Decide
As another mother puts it, “Opinions are like butt holes; everyone’s got one. I’m a bottle fed formula baby who is completely and totally fine, I plan to breastfeed but that’s my decision, my husband and everyone else knew better than to say a word.”
Others Tell Her To Stop Arguing About It
When it comes to standing up for her own wishes, Claire should remember that her mother-in-law’s opinion does not get a vote. “Stop arguing about it! Don’t discuss it with her and do whatever you want. You’ll never convince her and she’ll never convince you, it’s a stressful waste of time. Tell her you will not discuss this further with her, and if you say it more than 2-3 times and she’s still doing it walk away/hang up/disengage every single time. She doesn’t get a vote, stop acting as if she does!”
Use Humor To Shut Her Down
As one mother humorously puts it, “Tell her that if breastfeeding your daughter is so important to her, she can do it.” Ultimately, Claire should remember that she is in charge of her own decisions, and that she should not be pressured into making any choice she does not want to make.