A woman is wondering if she was in the wrong for picking the same name that her sister-in-law (SIL) picked and got dibs on.
Choosing A Baby Name
Choosing a baby name is a significant decision for any parent. However, when two families have similar names in mind, things can get complicated. One woman, a 23-year-old new mother who we’ll call Ruth, found herself in a family feud over the choice of her daughter’s name.
Same First Name
“I liked Mary-Grace. My sister-in-law (SIL) liked the names Mary-Kay,” Ruth said. “My SIL did choose the name first, but our names weren’t identical. SIL still insisted I didn’t use Mary-Grace still.”
Ruth Gave Birth First
Ruth and her sister-in-law are both pregnant, but Ruth gave birth to her daughter first.
Despite her sister-in-law’s objections, Ruth and her husband decided to go ahead with their preferred name. When they announced their baby’s name, after the child was born, things quickly turned sour.
Ruth Announced Her Baby’s Name
“When I announced [my baby’s name], my SIL called us and [was very mad]. She said we disrespected her, knowing she picked the name first. Now she has to choose a new baby name in such short notice,” Ruth said. “We reminded SIL that the names aren’t identical and there is no reason to change, but she just got upset and hung up.”
The conflict didn’t end there. Ruth’s mother-in-law also called to express her disappointment. “My MIL soon called us later backing up SIL saying how childish we acted keeping it a secret so we could get our way, and SIL wanted to use that name after her grandmother. They are all pretty upset with us,” she said.
People were divided in their responses, with some people firmly believing that the new parents were in the wrong.
“You knew well what the reaction would be and that’s why you kept your baby’s name secret,” one person said. “No, the names aren’t identical, but you still deliberately caused family drama where there didn’t need to be any.”
Another Share Their Experience
Another shared their experience of being named after a name their mother “stole” from their aunt, saying that it was “awkward.” They added, “If I had to hear one more time, ‘well you were born first, I got first dibs on the name,’ it sucks.”
Name Not Worth The Fight
However, some people said the name wasn’t worth the fight. “You’re both in the wrong for choosing those names. That’s really the only offense here,” one person said.
Ruth Is At Fault
Most people thought that Ruth was at fault. “You act like the names are different, but honestly, outside of the family, they are just gonna be called Mary. Hardly anyone is going to call them the full name,” one person pointed out.
Many were on the side of Ruth’s sister-in-law. “[Ruth] is a child who is still operating on the Mean Girl high school level of maturity,” one person said. Another added, “Are you typically someone who stirs up drama on purpose or was there another reason?””
What would you have done in this situation?
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