A woman does not know how to uninvite a girl that keeps inviting herself to her daughter’s parties.
Her Daughter Has A Birthday Party
Parents often go to great lengths to plan the perfect birthday party for their child. From invitations to decorations, everything is carefully selected to make the day special. However, what happens when uninvited guests show up, ruining the experience for the birthday child and their guests?
One parent shared their experience dealing with an uninvited guest. She says, “This kid keeps showing up to my daughter’s birthday parties uninvited.” The mom, who we will call Lara, explained that their daughter has a friend, Gracie, who has a younger sister, Brooke, that is two years younger. Lara stated that their daughter does not really hit it off with Brooke, and “she’s a little odd and blunt, honestly just a pest.”
Lara further explained that last year, they invited Gracie to their daughter’s birthday party, and the dad brought both girls, with the dad asking, “Brooke was invited too right?”
Lara was honest and said, “she wasn’t, but she’s welcome to tag along since she’s here.” However, Brooke ended up “taking over conversations, doing things she wasn’t supposed to, and just kind of saying awkward things,” leaving the birthday girl upset.
This year, Lara and her daughter invited Gracie again, mailing an invite addressed only to her. However, the mother dropped both girls off again, with Brooke taking her jacket off, confirming she was also coming to the party.
Lara is now left wondering if she needs to say something to Gracie’s parents. She also wants to know how she can get ahead of this next time.
Lara said, “I would feel bad if Brooke had no friends, but she is having her own birthday parties that my daughter isn’t invited to.”
The Mom Needs To Be More Direct
Many suggest that Lara needs to be clear on the invitation by stating that no additional guests or siblings are allowed. One person advised, “I’d just write ‘no siblings please’ on their invitation. And if they try to drop her off, say, ‘I’m sorry, but we’re not including siblings this year.'”
Another person suggested that Lara should have been more explicit with the mother in advance, saying, “Next year, mention it explicitly in advance.” It may be awkward, but some parents may need to be told directly that uninvited guests are not welcome.
Another pointed out that some parents may be looking for free babysitting, saying, “Sounds like those parents are looking for free babysitting. I would never dream of dropping both of my kids off at a birthday party only one of them was invited to without first asking.”
One person suggested requiring an RSVP to limit and account for who is going to show up, rather than leaving it to the discretion of parents. The user also cautioned against framing the conversation as a “well, my daughter doesn’t get invited to Brooke’s birthdays” situation, as that may not resolve the issue “because that might be resolved with an invite to things your daughter doesn’t want to go to.”
Ultimately, the best course of action is to have an honest conversation with the parents. As one user wrote, “You should just talk to them honestly. Be up front about it. Don’t be mean, but mention only your daughter’s friend Gracie is invited and not Brooke. If they press you on it, explain exactly why. If she arrives uninvited to anything, turn her away.”
It may be uncomfortable, but setting clear boundaries is important to ensure that the birthday child and their guests have a positive experience.