A man wonders if he was too harsh on his wife when she requests him to be more present with his children.
The man, who we’ll call Clint, is in his mid-30s, has two boys, an 8-year-old and a 3-month-old. He has his own business and works hard to maintain professional relationships and prioritize his clients.
I have my own business and work very hard and sometimes very long hours to prioritize my clients, get positive referrals and maintain professional relationships.
His wife is a stay-at-home mom who handles the back-end of his business, takes care of the house, and does most of the baby care. While Clint tries to do his part as much as possible, his job doesn’t end at 5/6 pm. He attends networking events and deals with clients even at 9/10 pm.
Despite all of his hard work, Clint’s wife is always on his case.
“Anna knows and sees how much I work. She knows I’m busting my ass all day, but she’s always on my case.”
She complains that he doesn’t prioritize her and the kids and forgets promises he made to their older son. Clint has told her many times that he is doing all of this for their family’s better life, so she doesn’t have to work.
“I’ve told her many times, I’m doing all of this for her and the kids, so they can have a better life and she doesn’t have to work.”
However, she continues to complain, which has led to him snapping at her.
“I ended up reaching my limit with Anna’s complaining and kind of blew up yelling at her to grow up and stop being so selfish for once and think about me. Now she’s not speaking to me and I’m thinking maybe I was a little harsh on her.”
Others Weigh In
Many sided with the wife, pointing out that the wife’s job entails more than jus taking care of the home.
One person pointed out that Clint’s wife works three different jobs. “A business manager, housekeeper, and nanny. This guy has no idea how much work it is looking after kids.”
Another said that this is the typical attitude of start-up men. “Typical startup guy. They really don’t have a clue. They think they worked for everything they have, that they’re self-made. It’s because they don’t know what work actually looks like and they can’t see their loved ones holding them up every day.
Another person asked why he called her a ‘stay-at-home-mom’ when she helps him run his business, to which another replied, “So he can minimize her contributions.”
Someone else said that Anna runs the real business in this scenario. “It sounds like your wife does all of the fiscal and time and asset management and you’re just a floor manager who can’t keep up with their quotas.”