A woman we’ll call Rose faces criticism from her long-distance boyfriend, John for showering daily. John is staying with her for the first time and he is advocating for showering every other day. This has led to a heated discussion between the couple, with Rose questioning whether she is in the wrong.
She Showers Everyday
Personal hygiene can be a contentious issue in relationships, as it can be influenced by cultural, social, and personal factors. As Rose stated, “I’m someone who showers daily. I have oily skin and scalp and not showering is not an option.” She also notes that showering less often doesn’t make her scalp less oily. She said, “showering less often will not suddenly make my naturally oily skin less oily. It only works with those with normal skin and scalp”
He Showers Less Often
Rose noted that John showers less often than her. She said, “he showers every 3 days which I find absolutely gross but I haven’t said anything.” On the other hand, John has been very vocal saying that showering daily is a waste of time and money and bad for the environment. He’s been trying to convince me to shower every other day. I’ve tried to explain to him that based on my experience, showering less is not an option for me, especially that I also bike to work every day.”
He Is Adamant That She Shower Less Often
After explaining her situation to John, Rose said, John is still adamant that she shower less often. Rose said, “he’s still not budging, he told me I could do a bird bath and leave the big shower for every other day.”
“I still refused,” Rose continued. “He called me irresponsible for not even considering his opinion and is now sulking in my garden. I do feel bad but I know my body and myself. I tried to explain again but he told me I’m unreasonable for not even trying and not caring about the environment and not making an effort.”
Others Weigh In
Many were quick to side with Rose and criticize John’s behavior.
As one person stated, “I realize many tend to default to “break up” – but I think it’s appropriate here. The fact he is trying to control you, and “sulking” over it – is just insane.” This person suggests that John’s behavior is controlling and unacceptable in a relationship.
Another agreed, stating, “He is a guest in your home and you pay the water bill. He has no right to tell you what to do. But the fact that he is sulking in the garden like a child because you won’t do what he says is just ridiculous.” She suggests that John’s behavior is disrespectful and immature.
Some even suggested that Rose should end the relationship altogether. As one woman stated, “If I were you I would send him packing and never look back.” The woman suggests that John’s behavior is a red flag and indicative of larger issues in the relationship.
Another woman said she should also voice out her opinion that showering every three days is gross. “Tell him you find his habit of only showering every 3 days to be gross.”
What would you do in this situation?