Daycare Dilemma: Does It Make You a Bad Parent?
When it comes to childcare, there are many differing opinions. One woman asked whether she’s a bad parent for putting her child in daycare Monday to Friday 8AM to 5PM. Here’s what people had to say.
Is Daycare bad?
One woman asks, “Does putting my son in Daycare Monday to Friday from 8am to 5pm make me a bad parent? It seems like in my group of friends and coworkers, I’m in the minority of parents who’s kids go to daycare all day all week. Other parents I know use a combination of family and working from home, along with 1-2 days of daycare a week. Apart from the monetary aspect, I wonder if my son would have a better day-to-day if we had a different system.”
Individual Situations
“What would make you a bad parent is not doing what is right for your individual situation. If daycare daily is what is required for your schedule, for your work, for your family to best survive, there’s nothing at all wrong with it.”
Learning Opportunities
“Our daughter has learned a ton from daycare that she probably wouldn’t at home. She also has a best friend at daycare now who she loves to see.”
Daycare Worker Perspective
“As a daycare worker, no, but I do think 8-6 is a very long day for a little kid but – sometimes it can’t be helped. I only mention it being long because parents should expect a level of exhaustion from their kiddo by that point. When I was working full time I had my infant in daycare 9+ hours some days and we’d barely have time together in the evening.”
Consistency
“I actually think it’s best to have the same routine every day, rather than various combos on different days.”
Avoid Comparisons
“Rule number one of parenting: don’t compare yourself, your family, your situation or your kids to other parents, families, or kids.”
Personal Experiences
“We have always had our little ones in daycare 8-5pm. Every single one of our friends and neighbors do the same thing. For reference, we’re all in the city Chicago, and are mostly corporate workers. Grandparents are out of state for most people I know. All the kids are all growing older and are very well mannered, loving and great children. There’s nothing at all wrong with doing this. Just ignore people.”
Long Days
One person offered a different perspective. “Just remember – if it feels like a long day to you, it it feels like an extremely long day for your child. You have to keep it together for 9 hours at work so know that your child also is having to keep it together (follow rules, not act out, play nice, interact, etc) for 9 hours. After pickup, be extra gentle and realize that any acting out is because they have had a really long day! You are their safe space.”
Loved and Cared For
“A loved, cared for and provided for child is best. If you don’t have a choice about using daycare or aftercare, then I can’t see why you should feel badly about it. Daycare can be fun! And it teaches valuable social lessons.
Importance of After-School Time
Another shared that the reason they didn’t put their child in daycare for long hours is because they want to spend more time with the child. “We didn’t use daycare because I stay home. But we did enroll our child in half-day VPK in America as soon as he was eligible. And we did 15 hours a week of nursery in England when he was a toddler. Personally, having a parent at home after school and for the duration of the afternoon/evening is important to me. I can’t imagine only seeing our son for an hour or two a day, rushed hours at that because of homework, dinner and after school activities. I feel like we’d become disconnected. I’m sure as the tweens and teen years creep in there will be much more of that disconnect, and it’s natural. But I am happy to put it off as long as possible.”
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Source: Reddit
