The mother-in-law of a bride-to-be is looking to invite additional friends to the wedding without the bride’s consent.
Woman Plans Her Wedding
The woman begins her story by saying, “I am planning a wedding where all of the family will be invited given they have a relationship with myself or the groom. There were about 150 people on the guest list, but some have declined their RSVPs- most notably my mother-in-law (MIL)’s family.
“My fiancé’s family immigrated from another country, so unfortunately many of those still living abroad were not able to afford/coordinate the trip to the US for our wedding,” says the bride. “This is completely understandable. Although my husband and I are bummed that some his family cannot fly in to celebrate with us, we understand that not all families are able to take the time off or afford traveling to such extents. This brought our guest list down to about 140 people.”
“It’s understandable that many of my MIL’s relatives can’t travel from abroad for our wedding, so our guest list has been reduced to about 140 people,” said the bride-to-be. “My fiancé and I had already agreed that we don’t want ‘strangers’ at our wedding, so I was a bit taken aback when I heard MIL asking [my fiance] about inviting her friends.”
The bride-to-be was unhappy that her MIL was trying to adjust wedding plans without consulting her. “I felt like she was intentionally going behind my back since my fiancé had already spoken to her about including me in her wedding inquiries,” she said.
The bride says that her MIL messaged her fiance to ask, “[fiancé’s name], since my family cannot attend your wedding, how many of my friends can I invite? I’m sad that my brother and sisters cannot attend. The wedding would be more memorable to me if some of my friends could be there in place of my family.””
“My fiancé showed me the message and I immediately get upset,” said the bride. “I responded from fiancé’s phone that we will not be hosting strangers at our wedding and that, unless you think we accidentally forgot to invite a friend or family member, stop trying to invite people to our wedding.”
In the end, the bride-to-be decided to reject her MIL’s request. “I got a bit heated and just shut her down, telling her to stop,” she said. “Now I’m wondering if I was too insensitive with my response. Did I do the wrong thing?”
The bride-to-be noted that of the 140 people on their guest list, her MIL knows over 60%. “Some of her friends that my fiancé know are already invited,” she said.
Others Agree With The Bride
Most people think the bride did the right thing. One person said, “It’s your fiancé’s and your wedding not hers. It’s your special day with your husband, if she feels entitled enough that her friends that you guys don’t even know have to come, and she tries to exclude you from planning and inviting guests she seems like she’s going to be a pain later on.”
“The wedding is for the couple, not the mother of the groom,” another said.
“She is going behind your back and hounding her son about it after he told her to talk to you about any details. Be careful of her in the future. She may keep doing these sorts of things, trying to get her way.”
Another person warned her that there might be a falling out between her and the MIL if she decides to stand by her decision. “”Your wedding, your rules. But realize you may have to deal with some emotional fallout with your future MIL. If it’s worth that, then stand by your decision. If you can allow one of her friends to join her, it might make you the better person and strengthen your family’s future relationship. But it is your and future hubby’s decision 100%.””